Bend it like Len Shackleton

I hold on to a bottle gin for too long and the woman shopper wonders if I want the gin for myself. I say I am a reincarnated Kansas temperance movement circa 1890 and I recall the Mencken quote about Puritanism " the haunting fear that somebody, somewhere is enjoying themselves"

Had conversation with football supporter about past heroes. I said that I had gone into Sportswrite in Manchester about 1998 and asked for a new biography of Len Shackleton. Shackleton was regarded by my father as the greatest player he ever saw at the Victoria Ground. The bloke in the shop did not have a clue who Shackleton was. I wonder in 50 years time whether people will look blankly when Beckham's name is mentioned

 I cannot stand people with mobile phones who continue to talk into them when they are at the till. It makes me seem even more anonymous. I tend to bellow at them with requests for information. I sometimes wish that we had a Dalek on the express till because little contact is required. Also the Dalek could blast the more awkward customer

 The corporate logo amuse me usually on sweatshirts. The local Council has "Achieving Excellence" which rather sounds like the Montgomery Burns Award for outstanding achievements in the field of excellence. For pithiness and accuracy I don't believe Wolverhampton Grammer school can be beat with "We teach children".