If foodbanks are the answer, then its a funny bloody question being asked

Early on in the shift and the question of food banks came up and with the first customers there was evident disgust at the remorseless rise of the food bank as a modern day arm of social services. One woman said that it was the fault of people who " spent money on fags". I pointed out that many of the people using them were actually in work and with the price of food going up plus the costs of energy by about 12 % then its easy to see how people are running out of money to meet even the basics..

Chatted to a Policeman about the work and whether it gave him a jaundiced view of human nature. To his credit he said no. He had worked with Scouse colleagues who he deemed worse than the criminals. He also mentioned the program on Scunthorpe. Is this a fair representation of the poor? I am sure there are people on that estate who are trying to do the decent thing.

Woman who has done very well from dealing in stamps- it grew out of a hobby- it seems philately will get you everywhere.

Wimbledon is on us. I have little interest in it when I was at Wigan CHC the assistant used to fall mysteriously ill during the period of the tournament. Strange that?

My favourite customer we spoke about Zappa and he was a great fan of "Hot Rats". On a walking holiday one of my mates was obsessed with a Zappa track " Help I'm a rock". We walked past a loch and my mate would shout out as we passed a boat " Help I'm a boat, I" turning into a boat".

Shetland Pony

Women tells me that Gradbach Mill Youth Hostel is being sold. Its a nice location close to Ludschurch. I suppose that someone will but it as private house

Woman buys lots of bottles of vinegar and tells me that she is making up fly spray with vinegar, old tea and oil of citronella. She has several Shetland ponies which she believes are a much misunderstood equine. They are the strongest horse for their respective size. I tell her the story of Joe Derbyshire who used to be on Wigan CHC. I visited him in hospital shortly before he died. He told me that as a young boy he worked  with the pit ponies. During the 1921 strike the ponies were bought to the surface and lived in fields beside the pit. When the strike ended they were rounded up to go down the pit. Joe remembered the ponies whinnying in terror at the prospect of returning underground. Its a tale that has always lived with me

saw someone I used to work with at the Primary Care Trust we both thought that we were back where we were 20 years ago with GP Fundholding. Its just the stationery and the letter heads that change every now and then. Since the late 80s we calculate about 20 changes to the NHS

Death to the French!

I always get people coming up to me and telling me ghost stories. Its because I write a weekly article in the paper called " Ghost writer". On this occasion the man tells me that he is driving through Clay lakes in Endon and has the strangest experience of smelling the over powering odour of TCP. He was thinking of his grand father at the time who used the stuff. Anyway that's what he told me.

Man obviously has a bee in his bonnet about the Royal Navy sharing facilities with the French Navy. He feels that we ought to destroy the French at harbour. A bit like Toulon in 1940 but then again we were at war and we did not want the French Navy falling into the hands of the Germans. I mention Nelson and his Copenhagen exploits. Man heartily approves and goes away singing the praises of Horatio.

Woman claims that she can communicate with her chickens.

During the shift news comes through of Wigan's famous victory against Man City. I am pleased as I lived in the area for 9 years. I think of Peter a Scot who was born in 1913 and was a long time supporter. He was a retired teacher and I used to drink with him and other old codgers in the Old Dog in Up Holland. Peter used to tell me of his war exploits with the Highland Light Infantry- he was mentioned in dispatches for bravery in Holland. He also had a great love of the diaries of Sam Pepys. He could quote large chunks of them when fortified with a glass of whisky. And of course he was a Latics fan. It always amused the way they would trek from one stand to another at half time at Springfield Park. I promised that I would raise a glass of whisky in his memory and hoping that he would be pleased wherever he is

No time Toulouse

Woman saleswoman has a highly penetrating voice selling knives and giving away vegetable slicer. Hope she commits seppku in aisle to prove its "special sharpness"

 Customer who has taken advantage of lots of rolls for 9p as well as donuts and meat pies going for absurdly low prices. I wonder if he is going to have a party? If he is then the mice are not invited as he buys 5 mouse traps

 Woman works in local court. Some appalling people that she has to deal with. But if it wasn't for the riff raff I'd be out of a job" Suggest that "If it wasn't for the Riff Raff" would be excellent title for her autobiography

Last man very small and cross looking wears a straw hat and with a beard looks like a certain French artist. He buys lots of brandy several bottles and upbraids me for not giving him enough bags for him to pack the drink all he needed to do was ask. He has a foreign accent I think he is German. He is obviously in a hurry

"I mean no disrespect"

Man asks what he can do in Wigan over a weekend. I tell him about the 1900 experience in the Pier complex which sadly is now defunct. My late friend Jim and I were caught in around 1988 in the living history section by actor pretending to be a 1900 miner who lost his Baptist preacher Dad in pit accident. We are invited to tea and ham sandwiches in Temperance Hall after the funeral in the local chapel. " I mean no disrespect" says Jim, " but I saw your father drunk outside the Collier's Arms last week". Laughter breaks within the crowd of visitors and  actor struggles after that

My hand is shaken by a man who had heard of my contribution on Radio 4 on the subject of the struggle for work for people over 50 and the reliance on part time work; agency. He had lost his job in the Highways Department of a local authority and was know struggling on infrequent work through a agency